By Tony (Joker) Dear Chuka ladies, as you all know I am your relationship dentist and I have been having a hard time replying to those mes...
Dear Chuka ladies, as you all know I am your relationship dentist and I have been having a hard time replying to those messages you whatsapp me about why your friends end up dating crazy guys or as you always put it "a$$holes". First of all, all of you need to know I lack chills and don't waste your time asking me the meaning of chills.
Most of you ladies probably think you have a good sense for what gets you totally smitten. A whip-smart wit, an awesome sense of adventure, a seriously huge heart—whatever it is, you can usually spot a good one. So why is it that you sometimes find yourself drawn to a guy who makes your head say no, no, no…but makes your heart say yes, yes, yes? Girls, here are just a few things that might lead to you falling hard for an a$$hole, despite your best intentions:
1. He's the Male Version of You
We know very well that, it's opposites that attract—but many women tend to believe the more similar a man is to them, the stronger the attraction. However, we are good pretenders as men. At first we can pretend to like everything you like before getting out and letting our inner monsters rear their hideous heads.
2. You Met in a Tense Situation
When the adrenaline starts pumping, so does attraction. Nothing forces a Kenyan lady to fall quick a hard than an extremely good time. Be it bungee jumping, getting down at the dance-floor, a wild kush smoking spree at a house party or a sports trip. Ladies will fall easily for guys who indulge them when they are having a good time. And this is where most of them end up starting relationships with crazy guys like me.
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3. He Has a Car or a big phone
We are living in a third world country so it’s quite understandable that when you own something valuable especially in Chuka, you are seen as ‘umefika’. Many ladies will open their legs wide in the back of a Probox. Men with iPhones, gucci designers or car companions are perceived as more attractive and all-around more eligible than those who don't have anything of value or rather those who are fond of mitumba clad, slippers and eat cheap foods. Don’t get it twisted though. If a man drives a car well, it doesn’t mean he can drive you crazy as well and if he carries a large phone, that doesn't mean he will call you tonight!
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4. You want to drop out of #TeamSingles
As for me, President of #TeamSingles, I feel honored to announce to you that it's been three straight months all of which I've spent it single by myself! Thank you, thank you for the applause. Thank you very much. Research has shown that when a lady is lonely standards take a nose dive. She is more likely to sleep with any Njuguna, Odhis, Langat or Wafula out there just to feel better. When you're feeling lonely, suddenly that a-hole doesn't seem so bad, right?
5. He Looks Like Your Dad
Sorry to say, but it's true: Research shows that we're more inclined to fall for people who have the same eye and hair color as our opposite-sex parent. Don't worry—it doesn’t mean you're attracted to your dad. Researchers speculated that it had to do with feelings of familiarity and comfort.
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